We were in the round pen with a young girl (11 yrs old) going though a "not so pretty" divorce with her parents. In previous counseling she had felt unsuccessful and "alone", this was her word. She felt that people were just pushing her around ("bossing me" she called it),trying to smooth the pain of the divorce of her parents over, pressing her to adjust to a new life.. the life "AFTER THE DISASTER"
As we were setting up an activity to do for her and her horse she mentioned that she was already feeling "emotionally stretched out" (her words). We created the first of a 5 step obstacle, a pathway through which she was going to lead her horse without the use of a halter or rope. The girl stood in the corner, shoulders down. Pointing at the horse saying " he is grumpy and she does not want to do this". She felt clearly not empowered at all to do the activity. She looked sad, and alone. She then said again that the horse did not want to be "bossed around".
I gave her a moment and then asked if she would like to do the activity together. On her nod I moved forward, petted the horse and engaged with both the horse and the girl. With me in proximity the girl stood by the side of the horse and started to move towards the obstacle,her horse following. I moved along with them.
Once the horse cleared the obstacle, this kiddo laughed out loud and hig fived me. "WE DID IT""
We then cleared the rest of the obstacles together fairly quickly, with her in charge of the horse, without touching it. An amazing "emotional stretching" in the girl's words, and this time in a fun and collaborative way.
We forget the webs of community we have woven in difficult times, sometimes. There is a dire need to support our young children as they progress through the challenges they face in childhood and beyond. Loss and grief is not an easy subject to tackle AND if we can go through it together with trust, presence and mindfullness, healing wil occur.
As we were setting up an activity to do for her and her horse she mentioned that she was already feeling "emotionally stretched out" (her words). We created the first of a 5 step obstacle, a pathway through which she was going to lead her horse without the use of a halter or rope. The girl stood in the corner, shoulders down. Pointing at the horse saying " he is grumpy and she does not want to do this". She felt clearly not empowered at all to do the activity. She looked sad, and alone. She then said again that the horse did not want to be "bossed around".
I gave her a moment and then asked if she would like to do the activity together. On her nod I moved forward, petted the horse and engaged with both the horse and the girl. With me in proximity the girl stood by the side of the horse and started to move towards the obstacle,her horse following. I moved along with them.
Once the horse cleared the obstacle, this kiddo laughed out loud and hig fived me. "WE DID IT""
We then cleared the rest of the obstacles together fairly quickly, with her in charge of the horse, without touching it. An amazing "emotional stretching" in the girl's words, and this time in a fun and collaborative way.
We forget the webs of community we have woven in difficult times, sometimes. There is a dire need to support our young children as they progress through the challenges they face in childhood and beyond. Loss and grief is not an easy subject to tackle AND if we can go through it together with trust, presence and mindfullness, healing wil occur.
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